Conversations between the animals

Daisy needs to relax.     She's all bent out of shape simply because I am trying to have a little fun on our walks. Onyx, that's now how she sees it.   Daisy says you are a jerk for running up on her and then laughing and taking off.  I am JUST trying to have some fun.....maybe she needs to toughen up a bit.   Cheba doesn't get upset when I do it to her. Kiss my ass Onyx!     I am not putting up with this crap from you.   I don't need you running up on me while we are on our walks.   It's crap.   You know it freaks me out, but, you do it anyway. Ohhhhhh poor little baby Daisy.......are you little feelings hurt?   Do I scare you?  Boo Daisy! Like I said, you are a jerk.  I deserve to walk in peace and not have to worry about your stupid self. Ok, ok......you two calm down.  Onyx, are you willing to back off and let Daisy walk in peace? I don't know dad, I guess I...

Onyx, me and Daisy have decided. Decided what?    I am now in charge of you two??? No, not happening, but, we think you will like what we did decide. Ok, I am listening...what did you and Daisy decide? You, my friend, are a dog. Hahahahahaha!  That's funny!!!  Me, a dog, please!  Not even close.  I am far superior than a dog any day of the week. No, you are a dog Onyx.   After this mornings walk, we talked, and it has been decided for you.  You, Onyx, are a dog.  You do everything a dog does.........you eat at the same exact time we do, you sleep at the same times we do, you let mom and dad love on you like we do, and you beg for treats just like we do!  This morning was the deciding factor.   You, Onyx the dog, went on a full walk with the family.   The whole way Onyx!   You stopped and sniffed when we did, you listened to dad like we do, and the big kicker Onyx, you got wet like I do somet...

Cheba, Onyx is fired!     I want him outta here!!! Whoa there Daisy, calm down now, what is going on? Well, he batted at me, over my own food!!!     He's done, fired!!! Ok ok, hold on a second now, you can't fire him, I am the only one who will fire anyone IF that is to happen. Onyx, what happened? What do you mean what happened?   She said it, I batted her.   Plain and simple.  So you are admitting to hitting your sister? Yup, pretty much, I guess so. See Cheba, F I R E D!     Fire him now and get him outta here!!! Quiet it Daisy, let me talk to Onyx. Onyx, so you are admitting that you hit Daisy......and what is your reasoning?   Did she do something to provoke it? I would say yes, yes she did.  I wanted to eat her food, the food she WAS NOT eating, and, she growled at me.  I felt I had a right to defend myself so....I batted her. You can't do that Onyx.....well, you can't...

Dad, it's dinner time, what's up? You have to wait a little bit longer Onyx. Yeah Dad, what is going on with dinner being late? Cheba AND Onyx, I am trying to get you adjusted for Sunday. What is a Sunday?    We just want our dinner.  Daisy, aren't you going to step in here? No, I am not.   I know what Dad is doing and I am ok with it.   You and Cheba obviously don't get it. You are right....I don't get it.    We eat at the same time everyday and all of a sudden we aren't this week.  It's dumb, I am hungry, Dad, feed me. Ok Onyx, here's the deal.  Sunday is daylight savings.   Clocks go back an hour.  I don't need you guys wanting to be fed an hour early.....which would mean 5am!  I am not getting up at 5am to feed you. What is a Sunday?  And, what is daylight savings time?    A clock?    You humans sure do make things difficult.  Dad, why can't you just answer Ony...