Conversations between the animals

Onyx, me and Daisy have decided. Decided what?    I am now in charge of you two??? No, not happening, but, we think you will like what we did decide. Ok, I am listening...what did you and Daisy decide? You, my friend, are a dog. Hahahahahaha!  That's funny!!!  Me, a dog, please!  Not even close.  I am far superior than a dog any day of the week. No, you are a dog Onyx.   After this mornings walk, we talked, and it has been decided for you.  You, Onyx, are a dog.  You do everything a dog does.........you eat at the same exact time we do, you sleep at the same times we do, you let mom and dad love on you like we do, and you beg for treats just like we do!  This morning was the deciding factor.   You, Onyx the dog, went on a full walk with the family.   The whole way Onyx!   You stopped and sniffed when we did, you listened to dad like we do, and the big kicker Onyx, you got wet like I do somet...

Cheba, Onyx is fired!     I want him outta here!!! Whoa there Daisy, calm down now, what is going on? Well, he batted at me, over my own food!!!     He's done, fired!!! Ok ok, hold on a second now, you can't fire him, I am the only one who will fire anyone IF that is to happen. Onyx, what happened? What do you mean what happened?   She said it, I batted her.   Plain and simple.  So you are admitting to hitting your sister? Yup, pretty much, I guess so. See Cheba, F I R E D!     Fire him now and get him outta here!!! Quiet it Daisy, let me talk to Onyx. Onyx, so you are admitting that you hit Daisy......and what is your reasoning?   Did she do something to provoke it? I would say yes, yes she did.  I wanted to eat her food, the food she WAS NOT eating, and, she growled at me.  I felt I had a right to defend myself so....I batted her. You can't do that Onyx.....well, you can't...

Dad, it's dinner time, what's up? You have to wait a little bit longer Onyx. Yeah Dad, what is going on with dinner being late? Cheba AND Onyx, I am trying to get you adjusted for Sunday. What is a Sunday?    We just want our dinner.  Daisy, aren't you going to step in here? No, I am not.   I know what Dad is doing and I am ok with it.   You and Cheba obviously don't get it. You are right....I don't get it.    We eat at the same time everyday and all of a sudden we aren't this week.  It's dumb, I am hungry, Dad, feed me. Ok Onyx, here's the deal.  Sunday is daylight savings.   Clocks go back an hour.  I don't need you guys wanting to be fed an hour early.....which would mean 5am!  I am not getting up at 5am to feed you. What is a Sunday?  And, what is daylight savings time?    A clock?    You humans sure do make things difficult.  Dad, why can't you just answer Ony...

Conversation between Ginger the Cat and Cheba t he Dog: Cheba: Hey Ginger, I am watching you Ginger: Yeah, got it Cheba, you've been "watching me" for well over a year now, when does it stop? Cheba: Never. Hey Ginger, I am still watching you. Ginger: Why don't you go watch for intruders, rather than watching me Cheba: You are an intruder. Hey Ginger, I am watching you. Ginger: You are a pyscho, go screw yourself, watch me while I kick your ass! Cheba: Hey, that was rude Ginger! You know I am not going to hurt you, I just like watching you! Ginger: Yeah, and watch while I call the cops and file for a restraining order! Cheba: Hey Ginger, I am watching you.

Daisy: Hey Dad, you wanna tell me why we are up so early? Cheba: Yeah, good question Dad, why are we up so early? Ginger: (still sleeping) Me: Well girls, Daisy is gonna get her chompers cleaned today. Daisy: Huh? What is this? "get my chompers cleaned" Me: The Doctor is going to clean your teeth Daisy; you need it Daisy: Oh really? Have you seen your "chompers" lately????? Cheba: Hey hey, now wait a second....so Daisy is going to the "vet"??? Me: Yes, Cheba, the vet Daisy: Whoa!!!! Hold the phone there mister, I know how things go down at the "vet", I think I should have a say in this..... Me: Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, it's gonna be fine now, you need to get your teeth cleaned. Daisy: Whatever, you damn humans always thinking we need this or that, I gotta a thing or two I would like to get you to the Vet for. Cheba: So, do we get a treat? We always get a treat from the Vet? A treat, do we get a tr........wait a second I just thought of som...

Me: Hey Ginger you mind moving so I can change the sheets? Ginger: Well Dad, since you asked, yes I do mind. Me: Ginger, ok funny, now move, I need to make the bed Ginger: Oh, I see, so you are going to make me move anyway? Why bother "asking"????? Me: Ginger, look I know you have a rough life, you know, sleeping, eating, crapping, and arguing with  Cheba ......but  since we humans have to take care of you, can you help me out here? Mom ( Katrina ) wants the sheets changed. Now move it! Ginger: This is crap Dad. I bust my rump around here and get no respect! I am required to sleep where ever, while you, mom, and ohhhh little  Daisy  have this huge damn bed. I am forced to protect Mom at night by sleeping on top of her. I do that cuz I know that neurotic dog of yours is going to flip out at any second. So, give me a break, with your "we humans crap". You want me moved? Do like you always do; move me! Me: Oh my Ginger......this is what I should expect I guess...